The Pain of Responsibility
by Shadow's Fallen Wing
Summary: *May contain triggers* During "On My Way" Kurt and Blaine have a heart to heart about Kurt feeling responsible


**The Pain of Responsibility**

The silence in the house was defining. Finn was out with Rachel, Burt and Carole were both at work. Kurt, however, was home although he too was silent. He sat dejected and forlorn, knees pulled to his chest, in the middle of his bed. His eyes, brimmed red, never leaving his lifeless cell phone that sat on his desk; the cell phone which he has turned off as soon as the news of Karofsky had been given to him, the cell phone that only added to his own blame.

Sitting in Glee earlier Kurt felt as though he were falling, continuously, down a never ending hole. It had been over a year since he last felt so hopeless.

_This is my fault…If I had known he was the one giving me valentines none of this would have happened. If I had stopped Blaine from pushing out of the way of that slushie. If I had just ended it before going to Dalton last year…_

Yet again Kurt fought the tears that threatened to fall.

_If I hadn't met. NO! I love Blaine, he saved my life and I love him. But had I not met him that day I would have been dead and this wouldn't have happened. _

There was a loud bang as the front door was opened and slammed shut, although Kurt appeared not to hear.

"Kurt? Are you here? You left after Glee and haven't been answering your cell! Kurt?" Blaine's frantic terrified voice echoed through the house and through Kurt's open door.

Moment before Blaine entered, Kurt broke and the sobs escaped his mouth as he curled into himself.

"Kurt? Oh Kurt, baby," Blaine made his way over to his boyfriend slowly wrapping his arms around the thin boy, his voice sounding relieved, but still concerned. "Shh, baby, shh. I've got you."

Kurt slowly calmed down and looked up into Blaine's eyes, "It's my fault…I…it is, isn't it?"

"God, no Kurt. You couldn't have known he'd do that. Please Kurt, I hate seeing you so upset."

Kurt closed his eyes and leaned into Blaine's strong chest, "But, if I had answered his calls."

"Kurt, he was making you uncomfortable. That's not your fault."

"If I had just asked you about the valentines that day.."

Blaine sighed, "You know I love you, and you thought I was more creative than I am. But babe that's not your fault either. You had no idea his classmates were there. Please, it isn't your fault."

For a minute the only sound came from Kurt's ragged breathing. He buried deeper into Blaine before speaking again, quietly, "I was going…" he paused trying to even out his breathing as Blaine waited patiently. "If I hadn't met you last year, I would have killed myself that night…"

It hung in the air.

"Really?" Kurt nodded. Blaine continued, voice thick, "Kurt…Please tell me you don't feel like that now. Or tell me how I can help. Baby I love you so much just, please. I would do anything for you. I want to be with you forever and always. Just…please" His voice broke.

Kurt shifted, lifting his face and kissing Blaine sweetly tasting both sets of tears, "I am not going to kill myself. I promise, and if I ever feel like that again I'd come to you." He felt Blaine relax slightly, "It was meeting you that stopped me. You showed me that at least one person care. That someone noticed I was suffering. I honestly thought that something must have been wrong with me…no one ever seemed to see what people were doing to me, or how I felt. But you did. You saved my life"

Blaine's grip tightened, "How?"

That question hung for a few moments before Kurt slowly answered, "I was going to take sleeping pills and then cut my wrists…I…had written a letter to my dad…and glee club…If you want it's…Over there in my top drawer…taped to the top. I was going to give it to you eventually…"

"I…I don't think I can read it. At least not yet." Blaine said quietly, "I am so glad you're here…I just." He ducked his head into Kurt's hair giving a wrecked sob.

"Oh Blaine, please don't. I'm ok now."

"I…I know, but…Kurt if…I"

"Please Blaine…I'm fine now. I have you."

Slowly Blaine stopped, although his face never left Kurt's hair. "I never want to be without you Kurt. In a few years you and I will be in New York and we will get married. Then eventually we will adopt a little boy, then a little girl. We'll take them to musicals and tell them stories and…sing! We'll sing to them and make sure they see how much we love each other and how much we love them and…" he stopped himself by kissing Kurt's temple.

"I'm glad you came and found me today Blaine. I needed you. I just couldn't use my cell phone. I know you say it's not my fault but I just feel so responsible"

"I promise you baby, you are not responsible. You are someone who loves so much and cares so deeply that your empathy makes you feel that way. Alright?" He kissed him again, first on the temple, then the cheek, and lastly the lips where he lingered.

Together they sat in silence. Eventually Kurt fell asleep. Blaine shifted so that Kurt's head rested on his chest.

Hours later when Burt returned home that was how he found them and how he left them.

* * *

><p>AN: Hello guys! I promise I haven't forgotten about What They Saw, just a bit stuck story wise right now. Anyway I loved the last ep and came up with this then. ALSO on face book Klaine Forever reached 100 likes YAY!

Enjoy!


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